17 December 2009

Hitchen on Global Warming

I have been thinking about all this global warming malarkey and have come up with a theory of my own - a theory that while supporting the argument that global warming is man made - debunks the notion that is caused by emissions, aerosols and fossil fuels. It is in fact, man-and-woman made.

Let me explain.

At the beginning of the 20th century Australia had a population of around 5 million people. Today, it is 22 million. That is an increase of - let me get my Blue Peter Book of Maths a moment - 5 into 22 goes four and a bit - over 400% in about 110 years.

Admittedly, some of this increase can be attributed to immigration - we have to have someone in this country who actually works even if we have to import them. But immigration would not be the the major factor. The prime cause of this population boom is - men-and-women doing what comes naturally to men-and-women.

If you think about 110 years of men-and-women engaging in activities that produce even more men-and-women, my theory starts to make sense.

For one thing, there is all that energy and heat generated. It doesn't hang around the bus shelter or drive-in - it disperses into the air. At any given time there are billions of men-and-women around the globe engaged in procreation activities, and all that heat disperses in the air and adds to the warming of the atmosphere.

Then you have the flow on effect of these activities. The production of more men and women. All these extra units breathe. What happens when they exhale? whoosh, up in to the air it goes. Of course they too produce more exhaling and breeding units, and the effect grows like the ripple of an unturned stone thrown into a still pond.

China proves my point. China is the most heavily populated country and also the cause of more pollution than any other. It is not the gasses billowing from the chimneys that alone cause pollution - it is caused by too many people over the centuries engaging in too many heat and unit producing activities.

The answer therefore is to discourage such activities. Perhaps set a tax or something similar to a carbon credit scheme to encourage men-and-women to be more environmentally friendly by hanging on until Friday or Saturday night, instead of on a regular basis.

I await my Nobel Prize. If Yasser Arafat can get one - so can I.

Wherever you may be - be safe

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