13 September 2011

Freedom of Speech - try it now while stocks last

freedom of speech mike hitchen unleashedJust a reminder to those who are fortunate enough to live in countries where free speech is a right.

When exercising your right to free speech, please remember terms and conditions apply and available to approved applicants only.

Should you stray from those conditions, you will be called names usually ending in "ist" by those who are often most ardent in voicing their support for free speech.

Never speak derogatorily of you-know-who or you-know-what, you will be instantly castigated and either asked a question ending in "Thought not" or treated to an abrupt statement informing you, "Enough said."

Remember that freedom of speech does not mean that you can express thoughts that are outside the norm. They must either be left, right, or centre and stick to parameters applicable to each. Should you fail to do so, your spelling and grammar will be picked through with a fine tooth comb until someone spots a mistake and cries "Eureka".

If you live in Australia, you can criticize any sportsman or sports woman as long as they are foreigners - preferably Poms or Kiwis but on no account, from you-know-where. Should you criticize an Aussie sporting icon who has won one event in 15 years, you are "Un-Australian".

There is a saying "Don't mention the war!" but if you really must, remember whatever war it is, we were right and they were wrong, so serves them bloody well right.

If you are from another country and wish to express an opinion about conflict in the land of your birth, those who decide the criteria for free speech in the lands of the free, will allow you to do so - as long of course, as you "sod off back home" and do it.

Freedom of Speech - try it now while stocks last.

Wherever you may be - be safe
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