14 September 2011

What's new pussy cat?

black catLeaving my apartment has become a somewhat hazardous business recently. It has reached the stage where I gradually and gently open the front door and sneak a quick look to make sure the coast is clear.

It's not that I am afraid of foreign agents or mysterious and seductively dressed Mata Hari's waiting to pounce - it's far simpler than that. It's that darn cat!

For some reason a black cat that has nothing to do with my apartment building, has taken a liking to me lately. I open the apartment door, and there she is sitting on her haunches waiting for the door to open.

It happened again this afternoon and I thought, "Enough is enough/"

I looked down on her (no, not in the way David Cameron does with young people) and said my piece - making my position clear from the outset.

"Don't get me wrong" I told her, "It's not that I am a catist - in fact some of my best friends are cats, it's just that cats do not belong in the hallway of my apartment - they belong outside" She looked at me as though to say, 'You do realize you are talking to a cat don't you mate - bang goes your street cred". I continued undeterred.

"I know what your game is - you are expecting a bowl of milk or a few of my fish fingers, well you are not getting any - and it's no use fluttering those eye lashes at me missy, that doesn't work when humans try it, so it's hardly likely to work for a cat". I continued. "And to be honest, you are better than that. Sitting there expecting something for nothing just makes you look like a bleeding trade union official"

I stepped into the hallway and down the steps in the hope she would follow, which she did. I was expecting her to follow me into the courtyard, and if that wasn't to her liking, into the garden, but she didn't.

Instead, she took up position outside another door!

And there was me thinking she had selected me for her attention. Hmmph - see if I care!

Wherever you may be - be safe
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