17 April 2012

Letters to Mother Nature

sydney weather by mike hitchen
April 17: 8:06 pm

Dear Mother Nature,

First of all, I would like to draw your attention to the fact that it is April. I am sure you are probably already aware of that, which puzzles me as to why in a month that should be fairly pleasant in this city on the beautiful harbour you created, you have seen fit to inflict upon its inhabitants, weather that is rather unseemly for this time of year. In a nutshell - wet, miserable and cold.

I expect cold weather during the height of our winter, which is still some way off. I do not expect such inclement weather just after the Easter Bunny came-a-calling. The thing is you see - I do not like heating in my bedroom. In fact, I like to sleep with the window open - even in winter (by which time I have had time to adjust). I shall come to the point.

I have a proposition to put to you.

If you could put the breaks on the icy winds from the south and turn down the pressure from the rain clouds a bit, I can do something for you in return. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. In a gentlemanly way of course. Just give me the nod and I will publish a story that will send your PR rating sky high - and being so closely connected with it, you know how high that it is!

Picture this. People from all over the civilized world and Eton, open my blog and see, "Mother Nature comes to rescue of stranded duckling" No wait - even better, make that a baby polar bear, they always have a high "Aaw Factor". Maybe something with cats and dogs - seeing how you are so connected with cats and dogs, especially in Sydney tonight! You can see where I'm coming from with this can't you - and you like it, I can tell.

Perhaps we could do lunch one day? I understand you are pretty busy in the UK at the moment, and from what I have read in the newspapers, there are some pretty good restaurants ideally suited for "one good turn deserves another" lunches. All the best people are seen eating in such places and security is guaranteed as they are always full of coppers.

I await your reply

April 17: 8:50 pm

Just turned my PC back on after lightning struck my local substation. No need to go all temperamental on me!

Wherever you may be - be safe 
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