14 April 2012

Think Tanks


I see many press releases from organizations referring themselves as a, "Think Tank". Personally, I think this is rather pompous, although perhaps rather appropriate for the many such organizations comprising mainly of retired US Army Generals, whose solution to most problems is to, "think tanks...think - boom!"

I have also noticed that, "Think Tanks" are usually male dominated, conjuring up visions in my mind of cigars, fine whisky and "ladies welcome of course, as long as they retire to the drawing room for sherry when we men start to talk."

Perhaps I am being unfair. Perhaps "Think Tanks" do serve a useful purpose. Maybe they do get results, points on the board and hit a few home runs.

Which is why I applied for a position on a "Think Tank"

Dear Sir,

I wish to apply for a position with your Think Tank. I have no proven track record or demonstrated ability in any specific area, but I understand this is not considered a problem. However, I have to inform you that I do not have an Old School Tie, as Gladys Henson, Form 5, nicked it after I put chewing gum in her hair.


Neither do I have one of those little neatly trimmed beards, although if successful, I am willing to either grow one or get one from a theatrical shop, which it seems most members of think tanks do.


After much practice, I bring with me to the table the ability to use 37 words instead of 6, and to make the bleeding obvious sound like pearls of wisdom.


Your sincerely


M. Hitchen.


Sadly, I had the following rejection letter:

Dear Sir,

We regret to inform you that your application has been rejected. The Board was initially quite impressed with your credentials. However, you fell at the final hurdle by signing yourself "sincerely".
 
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